11.1 Before Here Was There
I guess I'm in for seven, not really ready, but here goes.Watch the road. He had pitched a tentin a grove of trees; was lighting a flashlightthat made comics glow. The car was her tent. She read...
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Dale -- as I read this for the first time, i anticipated something bad happening -- i thought two cars crashing. So you do a fine job building the tension. I thought maybe you could change the...
View ArticleRe: 11.1 Before Here Was There
Thanks Hadley, it began in the present and for some reason I changed it. This little road trip I'm describing involves present events and also daydreaming into past events; which I think is what made...
View ArticleRe: 11.1 Before Here Was There
I dunno, Dale, I liked the messiness of it and the clapper image especially. and uh ahem, the Beach is less a "post-a-revision-get-a-bunch-of-crits" space than it is a...
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nothing wrong with messy -- the clapper image struck me too -- and the candy stuck to the dash. i'm sure i have that ornament in my car too
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haha, I gave my car to my son and when ever I get to ride in it I'm always impressed with the petrified food in it
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I love the description of what's going on in the car instead of just watching where they're going. It's like a tiny private world sitting in a car with one's hand on his knee. And the wallet shuffle....
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Her hand warmed the cap of his knee. Drizzle now tapped on their windshield. Anxiety smelt like wet cigarettes. This is the exit, keep right, keep right. for some reason, really liked this. the "cap"...
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